Why You May Not Be So Swift at Making Decisions: An Introvert Ponders Pondering

woman in woods deciding

  It’s 9 o’clock at night and we are perusing the food options in the United terminal at O’Hare airport in Chicago. Packaged shrimp salads with strawberries and jicama; yogurt parfaits with granola, mango and bananas; roasted cinnamon and sugar … Continue reading

Why Is It So Hard to Say No to People? Introvert Guilt and Fear of Inferiority

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I spent last week vacationing and staying with people I had never met before the trip. We went out to seafood restaurants and gorged on oysters, shrimp, grouper and key lime pie. We lounged on the beach and inadvertently swam with … Continue reading

Perhaps You Need a Superior Man? Finding a Partner Who Can Handle Ups and Downs

man holding woman arms

The relationship is new — less than one month in. The abnormal mammogram results arrive just as we are getting started. I hesitate to tell him because I don’t want to introduce ‘drama’ at this early stage. I end up … Continue reading

Self-Soothing and Not Giving a F*ck : Managing Your Own Anxiety Within a Relationship

calm woman

I had an epiphany the other day. If I don’t need the kids or my partner to validate me or help with my worries, then we can all relax. If I can manage my own emotions and self-soothe, then we … Continue reading

Please Don’t Watch, Observe or Scrutinize Me:Too Much Attention Makes This Introvert Nervous

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Cooking with your mate can be a loving and sensual experience. My guy and I usually sizzle in the kitchen but one time our interactions were a little burned and crispy. One sunny morning, I tried a new recipe involving poached eggs and … Continue reading

Do Your Friends and Family Think It’s Weird to Be an Introvert? Getting Past the Stereotype and Doing Work You Love

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I’ve had to stick up for my temperament and my writing many times. It never seems to get easier. I still feel I’m saying the words ‘awkward’ or ‘weird’ when I say I’m an introvert. I still hesitate to say I’m a … Continue reading

What’s Your Temperament? An Introverted Idealist Talks Soul Mates

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Tyler approached me after my Myers Briggs presentation in his high school classroom.  A tall young African-American man with long limbs and a wide smile, he’d asked engaging questions and made validating eye contact with me during my speech. There were a … Continue reading

How to Handle the Fluctuations in Emotional Security and Closeness Within a Relationship

Home Alone, Together

There is an ebb and flow of closeness in relationships. The amount of emotional connection and distance fluctuates. I first noticed this with a crush I had on someone  years ago. I remember feeling anxious when our normally quite deep and … Continue reading

Are You Tired of Your Partner or Tired of You? Looking for a New Relationship or Looking for a New Self?

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  Very often we don’t go elsewhere because we are looking for another person. We go elsewhere because we are looking for another self. It isn’t so much that we want to leave the person we are with as we … Continue reading