Do you need a deep emotional or mental connection in order to be sexually attracted to someone? If so, you may be a demisexual. New word for you? Me too, until I read, Are You a Demisexual? on Lonerwolf’s website. I encourage you to check out Lonerwolf. The writing is evocative and validating for loners, introverts, introspectives and those with the courage to be on the outside. Anyway, back to demisexual. According to the post, a demisexual experiences no primary sexual attraction based on appearance, style or personality but may experience a secondary attraction based on a deep degree of connection.
According to a study done by Durex (a condom manufacturer), 96% of people say they need emotional connection for the best sex. Demisexuals need mental intimacy for any sex to occur.
I am not a demisexual because I can be sexually attracted to someone based on appearance or personality but… the part about needing a deep emotional or mental connection resonated with me. To be clear, when I say deep emotional connection I don’t mean you spent an hour talking about mutual friends or the TV shows you love . I mean you could talk forever because you feel a soul companionship based on the way the other person looks at the world. You drink each other in sips because the emotional intimacy is so poignant, right and effortless that you want to savor it.
Do most introverts require such emotional intimacy for sexual satisfaction? We are averse to small talk. Are we averse to casual sex? Do we desire meaningful in all realms of connection?
Studies show that extroverts have more sex with more partners than introverts. Extroverts are bigger risk takers and generally hang out in bigger social circles so this information comes as no surprise.
Introverts spend a lot of time managing or conserving their energy. Meaningful conversations and spiritual intimacy are energy generating for introverts.
Do introspectives require a deep bond in order to counter-balance the expenditure of sexual energy?
How has your temperament affected your choice of partners?
Do you prefer a partner with a similar or different temperament to your own?
Are you quiet in bed or expressive?
Does having a rich inner world make sex more pleasurable? The brain is the largest sex organ. Do introverts have a fantasy advantage?
Is a lot of stimulation too much to handle for an introvert?
As you can see, this post consists of many questions. I am infinitely curious about the way temperament affects sexuality. I would love to hear honest responses from you. I understand sex is a sensitive and private subject for many so feel free to reply discreetly via the email@example.com email address or anonymously via the comment section below. I promise to share (retaining everyone’s anonymity) what I learn about the introversion/sexuality crossover. Thank you in advance for your candid replies.
*I consider sex and sensuality beautiful and natural. In its highest form, sexuality can be enlightening. I believe physical touch and connection should be honored and honorable. Please keep your responses in the same vein.
- Are You a Demisexual? (Lonerwolf.com)
- Survey: 96 Percent Say Best Sex If Emotionally Connected (personalliberty.com)
- Introvert Relationships: Love Me or Leave Me but Please Don’t Need Me (Too Much) (space2live)
- It’s Never Too Late to Experience Mind Blowing Passion (space2live)
- 3 Elements of Exquisite Sex and Divine Writing (elephantjournal.com and space2live)