“Susan Cain is a closet extrovert.”
— Unknown
So read the juvenile and snarky comment on introvert author and champion, Susan Cain’s blog. Susan’s heavy presence in the media (TED Talks, NPR, morning shows) during her book promotion (Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can’t Stop Talking) made it seem like she thrived in the limelight and fed off constant interaction, much like an extrovert. Still, I resented the insinuation that it is impossible to be popular,
engaging, passionate and an introvert.
I know many who are drawn to solitude but are frequently sought out for coffee, dinner, roller derby, pillow talk, etc. Introverts are in demand. They are rarely lonely not only because they enjoy their own company but because others do as well.
Why do those who cherish alone time often have many friends and invitations?
Perhaps it’s a simple case of supply and demand. Introverts love large swathes of free time. Time with no plans except enjoying their own company — listening to music, reading, watching meaningful movies, meditating, writing, painting, resting, investigating life in-depth. Securing and making time alone a priority leaves less time for socializing. Therefore any time available for interacting is precious. And anything precious is a must have.
Energized and Energizing
Why do some introverts seem like extroverts? Besides the pressure many of us feel to be outgoing and gregarious (the American way), there are other reasons why introverts exhibit extroverted energy.
Introverts love to go deep into subjects or work they find meaningful. According to Susan Cain and Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can’t Stop Talking, these core personal projects or passions allow an introvert to display extroverted abilities, such as large-scale socializing, public speaking or unbridled enthusiasm. Valued work gives us purpose and energy via an intense connection with our feelings and impressions. Our imagination and intuition are tapped and spill out in the form of ideas and inspiration. We are internally energized but in turn energize others with our passion, drive and excitement. We all know people who glow with energy and light. We want to be with them. Want to feed off their buzz.
I’m sure this is the energy and enthusiasm Susan Cain demonstrated as she eagerly promoted the work she had dedicated seven years of her life to. She wanted to help/support/empower other introspectives. The value she found in this mission gave her energy and strength to chat away the days with talk show hosts and sign endless copies of her book.
My bet is that she returned home or to her hotel room at night and collapsed. As exciting as her mission was, a key trait of introverts is to recharge in solitude.
Creativity and Community
Introverts are often thought of as disconnected or remote. But there is something that bridges contemplative folks with their community. Creativity.
True, introverts like to spend time in stillness without interruptions and hoards of people. But what do they do in this stillness? Connect with themselves. Find clarity regarding personal issues they are navigating. Go into a state of flow where ideas, feelings and associations come together to resolve conflict, reveal beauty or simply provide renewal.
Quite often these times of stillness produce creations that are helpful and valued by the community. Perhaps the purpose of creating is not to express ourselves but to connect? Picture a road-weary truck driver who practices guitar at night in his cab and eventually becomes the truck-stop entertainment. Or a broken-hearted baker who heals herself by silently kneading and rolling dough into the most delicate pastries. Creativity, of course, does not always stem from sorrow. Imagine a blissful painter who spends hours alone in her studio caressing canvas with soft brush strokes. Or a dedicated psychiatrist who spends years researching and publishing the causes and treatment of catatonic schizophrenia. All of these scenarios ultimately provide gifts to the community.
Take a minute to recall how alive you feel after seeing an incredible movie or hearing an evocative song.
Creators are inspiring. They pique our interest. They give us permission to expand beyond our daily ho-hum. They display courage in their originality. They provide solutions. They make us feel less alone.
No wonder others want to know them, spend time with them and be like them.
There is also research suggesting that creativity is based on in-depth immersion in a topic AND collaborative interaction (Keith Sawyer, Does Solitude Enhance Creativity? A Critique of Susan Cain’s Attack on Collaboration). Space for both introverts and extroverts to shine and work together for the greater good. Another reason introverts are in demand.
Of course, extroverts are creative too but the purpose of this post is to show how introverts find popularity despite their penchant for alone time.
Introverts aren’t all disconnected loners. Many are quite popular. Some are even confused for extroverts.
Know any popular introverts? Why do you enjoy hanging out with an introvert?
If you liked this post, you might also like:
How to Be Lively, Energetic and Vibrant When Your True Nature Is Thoughtful, Introverted and Reticent (space2live)
What’s Wonderful? Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can’t Stop Talking -space2live
Introverts and Creativity: A Critique of Susan Cain’s Argument - Professor Michael Roberto’s Blog
Gifts, Connections & Community (Part 2) - Keith Jennings Wandering and Wondering the Creative
**There is a new temperament title that is gaining notoriety. The ambivert. An ambivert is someone who falls basically dead center in the introvert-extrovert continuum. Anyone know someone who may qualify as an ambivert? Some days I wonder if I am more of an ambivert than an introvert.
This post was an absolute pleasure to read. Poetic. You’ve got it spot on re: creativity and community. And what I’ve found is that in solitude I find stuff that I become passionate about and love to connect with people and talk about too. It’s that stuff that leads to something like subject-authority and ‘popularity’ with things that we grapple with and engage in (Susan Cain is a prime example of that). Thanks for everything you write on this subject.
I just re-read Keith Sawyer’s article (link in my post) critiquing Susan Cain’s assumptions about group-think and creativity. He says there absolutely has to be solitude AND collaboration for creativity to blossom. The longer I write the more I see this to be true. I write to connect with a community. I need space or solitude in order to hear my inner voice and make or recombine ideas.
Thank you for gently nudging me to revisit this combination. If I really get down to it, I believe these are the three main ingredients to contentment – solitude, creativity, connection.
Oh my, yes. Thank you for posting. I can seem extroverted at times – I have no problem with performance or public speaking, and enjoy being with people. At the end of the day though I have to recharge. I am drained after days I’ve been around people and retreat.
Yes, that’s how I am, although I have to be uber prepared in order for public speaking to even be a possibility. I love people, especially ones who enjoy meaningful conversation. I soak them up and then go home and let myself spill into a few quiet hours. Thanks for commenting and reading.:)
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There are so many interesting ideas here. Particularly your comments about ambiverts. Maybe most of us are ambiverts who need regular times for contemplation, reflection & meditation, but also need plenty of time for lively and not so lively interaction with family, friends and work colleagues. It’s possible that there are very few people in the world who are at the extremes of the continuum from social to unsocial, or impersonal to personal.
I intend to do some more investigating regarding the “ambivert” temperament. I have read that we all get more sensitive to stimulation as we age, which would cause us to feel more introverted later in life. Marti Olsen Laney, author of Introvert Advantage, said temperament is based on how we get energized. I still get more energy from going internal. I also find myself drained after high levels of interaction with people for long periods of time. I love people and meaningful conversation but prefer small groups.
I do think there is something to the work and renewal idea. It’s good to interact and be part of a community but then it is heaven to step away and reflect.